Bad Boy Bennie Bites Back

I received this email today from Bad Boy. Sorry about photo - but I think Bad Boy is on the left, then Roger, Gus and Mark (our minister)

The email speaks for itself and I have copied it to you with his permission. I phoned him tonight and apparently he is working on another epistle. In the meantime here is the Word of Bad Boy Bennie Chapter 1.

'Hi Garlic. Bad boy here , great to follow your holiday exploits whilst relaxing is sunny Chryston.

I was not in the least surprised that you and Roger were having difficulty with exact locations, as past experience has given plenty examples of this in various hill walking expeditions that I have been involved in. Good to hear that all has been resolved and that you know exactly where you are once again.

After an emergency meeting of the Session it has been decided that on your return, you and Roger must spend a period of three weeks quarantined at Gartcosh parish church, before being allowed to rejoin the caring sharing church family at Chryston. This decision was taken over concerns that personal hygiene issues brought to light in a recent blog i.e. lack of showering facilities ,could put the session in breach of certain health & safety regulations when you return.

I tried to argue against the decision stating that this was actually normal for Roger and that we have not had any recorded instances of footrot within the congregation for several years now, but I was shouted down by a group of outsiders led by Malcolm who insisted that rules are rules and that furthermore he could recommend a security company to enforce said decision.

After some consideration of the costs involved the session refused this suggestion, and instead have set up a committee to look into ways that the congregation could be encouraged to take part in providing resources for this very important task.

The only concession I could win on your behalf is that you will be allowed to drive past the church on your way to Gartcosh in order for the congregation to wave to you from an appropriate distance still to be specified.

Be assured that I will continue to defend vigorously any attempts by the outsiders to impose further sanctions against you and will keep you updated on developments.

I must go now as I believe my internet transmissions are being monitored by someone hiding in the graveyard, these are dangerous time’s we are living in .

Give my regards to all.

Bad Boy Bennie.'

So Bad Boy tries to make things better, but just manages to ensure that our return to the fellowship next week, will be marked by concerns about our cleanliness and huggability - yes folks, we have learned how to hug - you too are in danger!, And we hug good. Perhaps Sunday week we will dance in Chryston too.

Bad Boy will undoubtedly raise the matter of dancing at the next session meeting on Tuesday - are we allowed to dance to the beat (sorry hymns) or not - Roger needs to know!

Could I apologise to all those not from our church for the direction this blog has taken. I will try and regain control - must stop eating those bananas!