Feart of Croc Fleming!

Now, everyone knows that Roger and Garlic have spent enormous amounts of money on this Chryston Adventurers expedition, and that I promised him the kayaking adventure of a lifetime.

Not only that, but I have brought him to a specialist Rwandan kayaking builders yard to get his own specially design kayak. Then when I tell him that across this lake is Tanzania, I expect him to push me aside and tear down to the lake to get paddling.

But no, not a flicker of an interest. Not a molecule of enthusiasm. And as a fisherman I thought he would dive at the opportunity to get in the boat and catch a few catfish. Not a chance

What could be the reason? - perhaps the hippos put him off, or the maybe the croc who was eyeing him up for tea - I suspect the latter. Maybe we should be calling him 'Feart of Croc' Fleming.

For those more interested in where we are, rather than our usual juvenile banter, we are on safari in the Akagera National Park, about 2.5 hours from Kigali. Today was our self appointed day off.

The lake is Lake Ihema, and Tanzania is easily seen just the width of Loch Lomond away. The hippos did not look particularly fearsome, though we did keep our distance, and the croc just seemed to circle the kayak expecting a juicy fleming meal.

I personally could not see what the croc saw in him - there is hardly any meat on him!