You will remember that Dr Bad Boy Bennie, see photo below, has become my personal psychological trainer. He awarded himself this position when I once again lost to Keith Prentice and team in the European Seniors semifinals.
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| Bad Boy Bennie |
Well Bad Boy had given me a set of psychological exercises which Andy Murray should try, and which Dr BBB assures me will be highly effective in winning in the Scottish Championships shortly to start. It basically involves setting yourself thoughts challenges and then telling yourself - win, win, win. He believes I have been following his therapy to the letter (or word) and expects to be paid for it.
Anyway Bad Boys letter is printed below for all to see:
"Dear Garlic
I am delighted you have taken my advice and have Ginger with you once more. I understand that you are on holiday again and I am just writing this short note to bring to your attention the small matter of unpaid fees that are now long overdue.
In truth this letter has been triggered by photographs of you with wads of cash that I discovered recently on the blog site and my hope is that you would like to share some with me so that I can remove your account from my “send in the heavies file”
Please do not see this as a threatening letter (as they are typed in red ink) but look on it rather as a friendly appeal prior to violent action being taken.I have been using a new company for cash recovery recently as members of my last agency have been detained at her majestys pleasure for an unspecified period.My new man is known only by his tradename of old Vic but he comes highly recommended and my source tells me that he never disappoints.
On a lighter note I do hope that you enjoyed your holiday and that you are back fit and healthy (at least for the moment).
Indecently how is your condition coming along? I have had no further communication with you since I set before you a strict training regime entitled” trying to be a winner”.I trust that you have been strictly adhering to the exercises programme suggested and look forward to hearing about your successes however small they may have been.
Please pass on my warmest regards to Ginger I trust that his mood has lightened now that he teamed up with you again but can I remind you that you will have to be diligent in matters of hygine he can so easily slip back to his old ways.I still have dreadful memories of a holiday we spent together where he was only allowed back on the plane if I signed him over as cargo in order for him to be stowed in the hold such was the reaction of fellow holidaymakers at the airport check in.
To close just a short update on news from home , it is costing £200Million to break up the Nimrod aircraft that we do not need any more but I have written to David Cameron and suggested that he puts them on E Bay and assured him that someone somewhere will take them off his hands thus saving the country such a huge scrappage bill.
My other suggestion was that he just parks them on the outskirts of Coatbridge and that they will just disappear piece by piece again at no cost to the taxpayer .
I await my invitation to join the coalission gonerment ( no spelling mistake)quango that deals with such matters and have already started to put out feelers to see if anyone wants to buy an aircraft carrier I feel that there may be possibilities in converting it to some kind of floating theme park / hotel experience.
Anyhow must go as my phone line is probably bugged hope to hear from you soon
Yours impatiently
Dr BBB.
Now, when you are in Rwanda, for curling training, constantly practicing your inwicks, draws, takeouts, cross house doubles and tap ups, you would think that your doctor would understand that 4 months is not a long time to wait for a medical bill to be paid, especially when I am such a 'finally' tuned athlete.
These kind of threats cannot help, and anyway surely Bad Boy should understand that he is paid on results, and therefore he needs to wait a couple more weeks - roll on Hamilton and the Scottish
Garlic
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